dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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