theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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