You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
