i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
