Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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