i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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