You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Randomize