she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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