Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize