Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
sex in a hospital.. check
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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