i just wanna soil my oats bro
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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