what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
