She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
