You're so nebulous sometimes
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize