so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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