i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
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