it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
