come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
