O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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