East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
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