Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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