I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
