So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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