you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
