i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Randomize
