I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
