Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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