Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
