My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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