i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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