some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize
