So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
