i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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