I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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