You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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