i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
