Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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