Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize