I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I am naked and annoyed.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
