Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
