it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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