so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
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