I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
It's just like the Real World with babies
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize