oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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