carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
