She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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