Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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