Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Randomize
