Do you still have your period?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Dick very happy bro
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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