smell my finger.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
