He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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