she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
