my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
