so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
