i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Life is so much better after having sex.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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