Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
