Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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