Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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