the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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