I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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