thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
