Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
