i just google imaged poop.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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