you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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