Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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