im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Edward fifth and chaser hands
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
