her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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