Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize