Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
