Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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