well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
