watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
